Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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