My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
