I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Boobs are out for the taking
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
