how can u be prego again
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
