oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
