I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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