thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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