Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
