So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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