He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
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Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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