I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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