What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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