She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
