do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
