Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
