It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
