Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Michael Bay diarrhea
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
