I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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