she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
