I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
