He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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