What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize