I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
