Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How naked do you want me to be?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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