After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
