Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
