I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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