I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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