you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize