I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
