He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
