dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
