just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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