he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
