She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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