His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
