I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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