my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize