ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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