If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
