My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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