Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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