East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
