Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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