marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
