I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
