I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i now understand why vodka
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
