I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
