just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
