I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
