I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
