God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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