whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
