You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
