they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
