and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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