Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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