after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
