Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize