Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Farmville is her only friend.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
