New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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